2009

In 2009 my life changed.
My life changes every year.
But in March 2009 BB was born. And a new me was born.
My sense of compassion grew so did my patience. I was reeling from giving birth, searching for a new way in feminism, realizing how flawed my view of the world had been, how incomplete. That I as a woman hade special needs when pregnant, giving birth and lactating. Needs, that even though I live in one the countries that have really tried hard in reaching equality, weren't always met or understood.
That I, by becoming a mother was being coerced into norms I wasn't really comfortable with. Sure, swedish women breastfeed. But we breastfeed in infancy, and very seldom talk about breastfeeding beyond that time.
I needed to find my position on breastfeeding, and once I found it I needed to stand up for it.
I think I might be a lactivist.

But in my lactivism I've hurt people. Others tell me this is unavoidable, but I will try to speak with respect. This might be hard at times, as I sometimes hurt people just when I speak of my love for breastfeeding, everything good that comes with it and why _I_ choose to sustain my breastfeeding.

I can't stand Nestlé. Sure, I've been into the politics of food for quite some time, but before, they might have swayed me with their new line of fair trade products. I view most baby-food companies with suspicion.

I gave up chocolate.
Yes. It's because BB gets a facial  rash if I eat even a little. No, I don't miss it. And it rids me of the problem of "where did this chocolate come from?" "was slavery used to farm it?"

I returned to work in July. Later than I thought before I gave birth, but earlier than I thought after giving birth. It was just a few hours, three days a week at first, but now that BB isn't exclusively breastfed anymore I stay away for longer at a time. She and her dad are doing great, being in some ways closer than me & her. I breastfeed her in her sleep & then sneak out of the bedroom, often returning after lunch and then leave again for a few hour in the evening.

I went to Open preschool and was pleasantly surprised by the compassionate, gentle & caring staff at both venues.

I started thinking about joining the Swedish Feminist Party, have e-mailed back and forth with some members but not really gone beyond that yet. They say they're so fresh, that anyone is welcome to join and add their views on feminism. We'll see about that.